Still I will sing to you

Camp was GREAT!! I really wana thank God for such a wonderful time together with friends or more like "family". This camp really gave me a glimps of what family is like. Ultimately, praise God for everything that happen in camp. My prayer is for everyone to bring back that passion of loving God and loving one another. Feeling quite sick now as most of you would know already, on the last day of camp I just woke up with food poisoning, vomitting and a slight feverish feeling. But all thanks to God that it was the last day of camp where all my responsibilities are completed and I can R.I.P. =P On that day I felt so loved and cared for as all the youth were just so loving and caring towards me although I was kinda a "burden" to them. Now I'm still feeling kinda lousy and sick (duh). When to see the doctor and I think the medication is working just fine. Hope I will be well asap. I think in life, what I preach is what I'll be tested on first (most of the time). ...

Well, I think it's time to move on. Something I hold dearly and something that I boast in. Something that might not seem serious to the "untrained eye". Something that I wasted myself upon, in my teenage days. For goodness sake, I'm going to turn 20!!! And something that I would want to put aside as I step forward looking forward to my 20's. I 'retire' from computer games. With the support from God my Maker and the Creator of this passionate heart. -For those who plays Dota/computer games, please help me out here... I love you guys, I don't mean to judge or condemn anyone who plays dota or any computer games for that matter. I just want to ask for forgiveness to all whom I, might influence in to playing this game along with me. I guess in some ways I might have influence some to play Dota and various computer games wit me. Again, I ain't saying that computer games is BAD BAD BAD. I just want to move on... And I guess it would help by not inviting ...

I just finish reading the book "Wasteland?" by Mike Pilavachi. Very encouraging and much values to pick up from it. Learning to keep my eyes on the "goal" which is Christ. Remembering His sufferings, blessing, mercy, grace and goodness in my life that keeps me going everyday. Knowing that the prize in eternity is much more valuable than praises from men or feeling above everyone else. Constantly learning and being challenged to walk in Christ's humility and grace. To "lean" depend on Him. To act on what I've learned. Ultimately, to "waste" my life on this Lover that is constantly looking down with eyes of love for me. In the words of Mike Pilavachi's friend to him: "Life's a bitch, but God is good." - agrees... ^^

Lord, in every circumstances... Still I will sing to You. In the darkest night of my soul... Still I will sing to You. In the happiest time of my life... Still I will sing to You. When things are just normal... Still I will sing to You. May I pledge to sing to You in all times of my life. Not to stop the sound of praise and worship coming out from my heart through my mouth to You. Let me never be satisfied!! The psalm at this time of my life (Thanks Paulina) Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.

I really thank God that I'm now currently slowly climbing out of this pit I just fell into few weeks ago, and as usual. I learn alot of valuable lessons of faith, perseverence, love, patience, and most importantly learning to control my feelings/emotions a little better. I must say it was a great time of "testing" and STILL now, going through testing on my faith of Christian faith. Er... gtg soon, will update soon. Hehehe.

Yea, the title says it all...

When my heart runs dry And there's no song to sing No holy melody No words of love within I recall the height from which This fragile heart has slipped And I remember You I will turn back and do the things I use to do For the love of You Lord, I remember You I will turn back and do the things I use to do For the love of You You are my soul's desire You are the hope within You bring my heart to life You make my spirit sing I recall the height from which This fragile heart has slipped You have an amazing way of speaking to me, Lord. And I'm truely thankful to You. Thanks!!

These few days I'm in a spiritual down phase of my life. May not appear outwards but those who know me well enough knows la. It feels like I fell into a deep "jamban" and it stinks and it's full of "crap". Just feel that the devil is just attacking me left, right, up, down, back, center and star shape angle also (*). I am a very, totally, extremely emotional and sensitive person. This is my major weakness and strength. But for now, it's just a major weakness. I'm overly sensitive to what people say, and even some times I think of things that are not there or not true in people's mind. Sadly, I'm starting to believe the lies of the enemy and I'm starting to behave the way he wants me to behave. *I paused for 5 seconds* -I just typed out a revelation to myself!!- I guess I no longer wana believe his lies and deceit and live in that jamban full of crap, deceit, lies, gossips, slander, hatred, malice, pride, and all sorts of bad attitudes. Sa...

It's been some time since we had people saved in church during worship. It was amazing! People were healed and the holy spirit was at work to "help" a sister accept Christ during our worship/communion time. It will be one of those memoriable communions we can ever have coz: no 1. A girl accepted Christ and boldly confess it among all the people in Church on a Sunday morning just before communion time. no 2. A woman was healed of her knee pain. It's great because you don't really "need" a sermon after that you know... People got saved and healed and there is all the reasons to just celebrate and worship and thank Jesus for what He had done. I don't mean to be proud of the worship session or our church or to think that sermon is not needed. But more like, I was really touched and blessed seeing all that God is doing in our church as we are faithful to what He calls us to do. He really bless us. These days, I have this desire in me to do something. But ...

Well, this pass few days I'm feeling very "Pei" in other sense just bored, tired, letargic, moody, basically just 'down'. Mainly because I don't have enough sleep. But in all this. I told myself, in whatever circumstances, be it up or down, Still I will sing to You....

Sunday... I just when and hang out with my friend in a park after grabbing a drink from 7-Eleven. It was such a fruitful and encouraging time together. We were just chatting about "how are we" doing. We talked about our struggles and what is in our heart and our vision for ourselves and for the church. What can we contribute and what are we called to do. We determine to "do the right thing". Living a life of no compromise and going with the flow of Christ as our example. Since we both are men of action. We just didn't sit down there and chat. We just walk a few rounds in the park and spoke in tongues and pray for our lives, our church, our personal vision and dreams to be filter through God. Because we don't want our vision and dreams to be just another "good idea" and not God's idea. And so it begins, this journey of holiness and righteoussness my friend. Because we both love God, we want to make a change, as we see how a junk we are and how m...

I find it tough yet fulfilling and I do enjoy it. Times when God allow me to be tested and challenged by my own words that I speak. Times when He allows offence to be thrown at me, and see whether I pick it up or not. Is really hard to walk the talk. But I want to truly walk it. No matter what people will say against me or to me. I want to persevere to say I fought the good fight and run the race wholeheartedly. It's all about living it out. Living the Christ-like Life on earth. By His principles and standards. Looking to what is ahead. Looking and keeping my eyes on Him, His holiness, authority, righteousness, adequacy, humility, love, compassion, gentleness, self-control, long suffering all through the help of the Helper (H.S.). Learning how to seperate the sin from the person him/herself. Loving the person yet hating the sin. I tell you, it is SO HARD! And I also learning not to say certain words that is not edifying or words that "if I don't say, won't die wan...

It was awesome. But I will not forget the prayers we had on Saturday. During practise, we as the worship team for that Sunday finished about 3:40pm and we had about 20 minutes to pray. We just cried out to God and ask God to come and set us free to worship Him with all of our hearts. To break the chains that hold us back as musicians and priest unto the Lord and to break everything that hinders us as a church, to worship Him freely just as we are, giving our best and all to Him. We were desperate and we expect God to turn up as we meet together. We prayed for the spirit of tiredness to flee and the heavy yoke that people bring to the meeting be uplifted. We prayed and expected with faith that He will show up. But we didn't know how or to what extend. He sure did turn up and sat among our praises. God was so obviously present! One thing that is in my heart for a while is that in my church, I feel that people are like "in chains" as we find it hard to just break free to wor...

Sian Huey is going off soon. She's like me "tai ka che". I'm going to miss her alot although I am not close to her like others. But I know I'm gona miss her and her positive, loving, and caring character. We need this kinda people around! I'm so happy to have a friend like her. Well, I just wana dedicate this poem to her. She is a wonderful friend to begin, Always positive in her way of thinking, Loving, caring and ever understanding, She's one in a million, She's all that!! lol... Always there when you need to talk, One great example of walking the talk, Full of wisdom and strong in her stand, Accompanied by a wonderful man, (Jon) Well, an attempt of me being "pootic". +_-" Best wishest from me to Sian Huey & Jon!! Have a great journey there and have lotsa fun with Jon. " But not too much " =P Take care guys, will miss ya both... *Cries* *out loud* ;)

Well, it's great to be home. Yet to see my church on the first Sunday after I arrived back from India. I'm so excited to see all my friends and family once again. I love Malaysia!! It's been exceptionally good for me these few days when I came back. no.1 The haze has gone down! no.2 Bak Kut Teh was Great the moment I touched down no.3 Reading alot (Including the bible and yet to continue reading it now I'm back) I realize that my very good friend was "books" in India. Thank God for the bible! When I'm there, it's easy to concentrate coz there's really nothing much to be done and can distract me from reading. Now when I'm back here, there are SooOOooOo many distractions everywhere! I think it's a greater challenge to keep my reading habits and also what God thought me there back to where I am now. I realize how important to have a daily dose of the bible. It keeps me sorta "steady". My spiritual walk doesn't fluctuates too much...

We missed the flight.... Signing out -The Fools in India-

I find busses in India and Malaysia quite bias to short people. It's not nice being tall and having so little or no leg space at all. Put yourself in my shoes. Being tall = my shoulder is higher than the rest. There are 3 people sitting in a row. On my 6 hour trip I have been a shoulder rest to a guy for approximately 3 hours. The scary thing is, he consciously tilt his head and nicely lean and make himself comfortable on my shoulder as though my shoulder was his pillow. I feel gay. I'm not gay. I just felt gay for a moment. "................." I just knew him for 1 day, and he is also 19 years old. The disadvantage of being tall to short people in busses that are so uncomfortable for tall people. I just thank God I got a seat to sit in there for 6 hours. There are approximately 400+ kids there in the center consisting of 6 tuition centers combined together. All Hindu kids. And their going to pray for the nation... hmmm... I wonder how does that work. :/ Their a bu...

The righteous will live by faith. Meaning that, I'm righteous because I have faith in God who made me righteous not by my strenght. So meaning having faith in God and looking at Him and His righteousness and He declare us righteous because of our faith in Him and His righteousness... I feel so dumb only to realize something like that now. >. I was lying down on the beach this evening as KLTI (in M'sia) was going on. (Man I feel like I've missed so much by missing those classes). And talking to God and then felt distress... Weird, being with God feeling distress. Hahaha, then He just whispers to me... When calamity/disaster/tragedy/mishap/misfortune or what ever bad things or feelings or things that will make me worry and stress. Take a DEEP breath, and know that He is God. And also, when things happen, especially the bad stuff... "Praise ye the Lord". kekeke... We really touch the Father's heart even though "bad stuff" happens to us, we still wil...

We (Me, Simon, Meeri (Varathan's brother), Kim and Ethan when to the cinema for a movie last night. We when there expecting that no one will watch a English movie entitled "Be Cool". Yea, I know what you're thinking. "We're kinda outdated here." It was so cool, I took a picture of us in the cinema. Actually Meeri took it. Anyway, we when there on a "tuk tuk" or more like the "auto" with 3 wheels and no door kinda small motor thingi. 5 Of us plus the driver was in that small mini "auto". It was alright actually. Quite fun ride, not to mention, Scary! So we reached there and guess what? The movie tickets were SOLD OUT! And we're so sad. BUT the miracle happen, one guy told us about ppl asking the manager and getting tickets from him. I'm like, well, it's worth a try. So we when up to the manager's office and there were 3 other people besides the manager and Kim just dash in and say, something like "Hi, man...

I am so thankful to God for so many revelations that He is willing to show me in this missions trip here in India, Chennai. It is truly His grace and mercy that He still chooses to show me a little "revelation" to help me grow in Him. To others, you might alrd know this. But for me, it makes all the difference. But if you read it and you're blessed, I'm happy for u. One of the first revelations was "He wants the best for me". Why then I shouldn't trust Him? Why shouldn't I not trust Him for the best for me? Why then must I make decisions (then only ask Him) "so which out of my decision is a better decision?" Why then I want to make my own decision and get 2nd best of what He has plan for me? It was a comforting yet provoking revelation to me. Another one was "He will never leave me nor forsake me". Comforts and assures me that He is there whether I'm in Malaysia or India or anywhere in the universe. Another one was when I was ...

These are some photos from Jack's camera, coz he has the cable to download it to the computer. So, just some. XD This is China Town Restaurant. They serve good Chinese food. Better than the other places we've been. From left: Mervin, me, Simon, Varathan, Jack, Ethan and Kim. Me giving the fair-well Ice-cream that I bought for him the day that he is going to leave. I think the ice-cream cost RM2.50. (Walls) lovely. We were at the beach near where I stay about 5 minutes walk. This is the gift shop I when to buy the "expensive" stuff for some people back home. (no money to buy for all, sorry) This is the famous music fountain in Mysore (Thanks Simon for correction). Very nice place... And God made the rain stop for us to go and watch the fountain. If not, we probably will miss this treat. Coz it was raining kinda heavily when we reach there and Ethan prayed earnestly and God answered his prayer. Hahaha....

It's really great! Simon made me realize that "this IS THE Missions trip" that we normally talk about. Staying long enough to know the culture and to adapt and to be with the people. It's more free and not everyday rushing to meet adjendas and activities. It's so refreshing to know that missions trip is like this. Note: I love those short term 7 days missions trip where we do lotsa stuff and bless ppl and some times 7 days is all we need and can give to go overseas. I think it's because of the previous experience that brought me to realize "only now" that missions trip is "not" like bombarding ppl with adjenda's and programs and striving to fulfill them. I like and am feeling how the team felt in Cambodia. But this missions trip to me, is different. It's just so relaxing and not too taxing. Kim (A "quai lou" missionary said) "You can just go about doing your own thing and when they need you, they'll call you. Whic...

Woke up today, wash my clothes, sun them, wash up, and took a walk to the beach which is like 5 minutes walk from our house. At the beach, just spend time to worship God and sing to Him songs and praise Him for He is worthy. Did some reading by the beach too. I bought 2 books here for exactly RM10 ONLY! One entitle Humility and the other by Jack Hayford called The Heart of Praise. After some reading and singing of songs and thinking, I'm just so amaized by God and His creation and splendor. He is so So extremely wonderful. After spending like 1 and a half hours at the beach, I walked home. Wash my feat, And did more reading on the "worship" book. I am SO amaized (I can't express how I feel deep inside me now), I'm so so glad I bought the book. SO Many things I learn about worship and praise from it. And the BEST thing about it is, it's SO appropriate for me now in my life and the church. I feel everyone should just grab that book and read and understand it. It...

Slept well. It was wonderful with the mosquito coil and spray (thanks raj) Well, woke up at 8:50am, wash clothes, sun clothes then off to the Father's house for some breakfast. -When to the slum area to visit the kids there in the school. -Prayed for the teachers and kids. -The weather is sunny. -Air is kinda dusty. -People are lovely. -We start our ministry. -Pls continue pray for the two fools here. Today at around 4pm we will be going to teach drums along side the "music master". Cool name they give those musicians. (I wana be music master too) XD It's 1:10pm here. Malaysian time 3:42pm. Take care everyone, pls continue to pray for us. We need your prayers. Can pray for: -People to understand us when we speak -More of God and less of Joshua and Simon -To have the skill to relate to children and entertain them :P -God's guidance -Sensitive to the Holy Spirit -That God will impact the community here -That we will be able to survive =P -That we will be servants t...

Not really that much to do. When to the kindergarden and kinda start to get to know the kids. There's this one very cute girl, her mom is Malaysian and dad is Indian. Looks more like Malaysian. She speaks good english and very good Tamil. Auntie Lei Wah is WELL KNOWN EVERY WHERE!! We go this place we say M'sia they ask us "Lei Wah?" we're like, "yea yea, same church". Wah! Auntie Lei Wah set such high standard for us, now feel so insignificant. lol... She love the kids, know how to handle kids, and been a really good testimony. We hear them talk about her and the team and what they did and I listen and think to myself "aiks, I can't really do that." :P Weather today is kinda hot, yesterday sleep then wake up sleep then wake up. I think got about 5-7 times I sleep then wake up. Next morning see so many red spots/dots on my hands. Probably mosquito bites. *sob sob* But probably will get use to it in a week or so. I got handphone number in Ind...

Weather is good and the people the same. Love the food. (Eat with hands, I'm noob in that) Simon is good.... Still alive, tolerating with me. XD Learning to wash our own clothes (more like soak them) Found out the sad thing that Simon's guitar is much nicer to play and sounds much better than mind!! ARGH~! Sad but true... grr... :P Nothing much to be done in the first day though. It rainned while we were singing and worshipping in our room. It's fun here as in, it's different and I'm learning to be independant. Miss you guys. Will report more as I go along day by day. :P (If got time la and if can upload pics lagi bagus!) For now, it's cool and it's exciting. I was quite nervous in KLIA and all. But now better. kekeke.... Take care all. BYEZ! -n-

This is the beginning of the CrAzYness in us! Outside Kayu Nasi Kandar at 5am. Hmmm.... After Christmas Liturgy. XP People started to go all crazy! It's not my fault, REALLY!!! The SnaKEeEEeeeeyyyyyyY Pose by all of us er, except for the missing buaya taking the photo of his prey!... SssssSs *Gulp* Then the FissSsshhiIeeeE (eeekk) Face except for the PROfessional fish-face dude who is taking the picture. (If you would notice before there are many "Clay Fishes" right outside the front of Kayu Nasi Kandar shop in SS2 shooting out water like a fountain from the mouth) So this is our gila attempt to imitate that!! Heard of Ju-On in the lift??? *Eeepp* That's all folks, just felt a little random. kekeke... Beaware for the next upcoming EvEnT! You might be caught unaware... hohooh...

Not been eating well these few days. Too lazy to walk out to buy my lunch. End up eating dinner only. So much for Healthy Living :P The scary thing now is, Chennai is just 4 days away. And I'll be away from EVERYONE!!!! EXCEPT!!?? s i m o n.... It's going to be a long "weekend" for me. One part of me is excited and another is scared. I really wonder how am I going to survive without my mom and friends with only.... s i m o n........ and HIS guitar..... hmm.... Wahahaha... (Laugh of sadness) Well, I hope I can continue eating healthy in Chennai (India) when I'm there.... with simon.... So.... LIFE IS GOING TO END!!!!!!! It's THE END!!!! @#^@)#$&^@)#& Just kidding... :P I think I'm just overly excited. =.=" I just hope and pray I come back a change person. I hope I won't miss you all much. Although I know you all won't miss me much anyway, grr... :P I just wana say, if I never come back.... I want my guitar to be delivered there!!! And I...

The addictions that starts with the letter "G" a. Girls b. Games c. Gold d. Glory e. Guitars f. the "G" chord Life is full of addictions. Must be constantly abide and keep our eyes on Him. Going Chennai soon. Thank God that there are so many people that care for me and Simon. Feel so loved and taken care of. Thank You!

When I'm weak, You said You are strong in me, when I'm feeling all so wrong I run, to the place where I belong and found, nothing Broken I come, to drink of Your waters of life, But the irony of it all, I thrist and hunger for more When will I be satisfied? When will I be satisfied? When will I be satisfied? When will I be satisfied of You? At times, I seek, knock and fought To save, my faith that's just a thought left Within me, knowing there is more to life with You "Never give up" this phrase that I'm still clinging on too Hanging by the elements of faith, of grace and of truth Well, this is not the usual Josh kinda song coz it's quite "not me" if I could put it that way. But you might differ. It's more a mixture of Cold Play chord progression. (Darn, I can't seem to find a chord progression of my own. All also got some song related to it.) But the melody is totally different just the chords used quite similar. But I didn't expect ...

Move Me Michael Gungor and Israel Houghton And You move me Just when I thought that I had it all together And You move me Just when I thought things could not get any better I am ready come and move me once again I am ready come and mvoe me once again And You move me Closer to You closer to Your heart I see clearer so much clearer than before And You move me And You move me From the comfort that I've come to know and love And You move me To experience the sovereignty of God Come move me once again Come move me once again I love this song. Not only the music sounds really awesome, but the lyrics spoke to me. I think that is what God's doing in my life. Just when I'm getting a little comfortable, He "kicks" me or move me to another phase which is like moving to a higher level of difficulty in a game. Going through life without much of a feeling of God's tangible presence or I think not at all. I ask God last night, Saturday night. I couldn't sleep. Really c...

Well, going to be my final exams. Got to get my butt workin hard! I love hanging around people who longs for true friendship and being family/community. I just wana place where we can chat and tell of our stories and pray for one another and love one another, speak into one another, bless and uphold one another and we all get blessed and feel God in action. A place where it's safe and people are open because we all know that when I share something, the rest is here for me kinda feeling. They are not here to criticise me or kick me when I'm down, but more like uphold, lift, encourage and built one another up. To rebuke and to speak life. I got a few experiences with that kinda environment. It's really a wonderful thing to bless and encourage others because I myself am blessed. And to know that when I'm in trouble, there are people there for me. It's a very "nice feeling" if I can put it just simply. Speaking life is such a wonderful and encouraging, uplifti...

Yea! Mom's always right... I think my mom is a great woman. Yea, every mom is. I just need to learn from her. Suck all the good stuff and throw away the ugly. Just wana share abit of my mom. I don't really like talking about her. But I just feel like it now. There's always good and bad in everyone. No one is perfect except God. My mom is one human alright. She can be a little off, but she loves me. It's late and tomorrow I got to go for IPN. I'm wondering what am I doing blogging at this hour. Well, I just had an arguement about me coming home "late". Well, nowadays... Going home at 1pm is late alright. But, hehe... I came back at 2 on Thursday when and chat with my (church friend Dowan mention name). Chat chat about good stuff I hate rulez. I believe rulez are guidelines, but not something I MUST OBEY NO MATTER WHAT! I always believe there is an exception to rulez. Mainly at home la. :P My mom is a rule base mom. Meaning, she loves rules, she must be ON ...

The fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom proverbs 1:7 (All scripture are from NIV, other versions are those specially noted e.g. NKJV) My question is, what is the fear of the lord? "To fear the Lord is to hate evil; Proverbs 8:13" Oh... Proverbs is just full of wise words by King Soloman; David's son. But the irony of it is Soloman, a man so wise. No one on earth was wiser than he is. YET, ended up being a foolish man that follow the ways of the world. And he himself not taking heed to wisdom. AT LAST! I found it! I didn't wana sleep until I find it. I knew it was in proverbs. Proverbs 10:19 NIV: When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. NKJV: In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. I guess that's for me. :P There's a verse I yet to find, where it says something like out of a man's words he sins or something like he sins after he says something. Fruit of the mouth or arg...

I told God, "Lord, help me worship You in everything I do, not only in "times of worship" in church." That basically means being a good example of Christ to people 'out there' and in church. Everything I do reflects God my maker. The way I spend my money, time, skipping college and asking people to take attendance for me is one way to dishonor God's name. (repent, repent, just did that today) :'( Currently I feel sick and tired. I think I slept too much alrd today. (sigh) I believe God wants to do something in my life. God wants to do something for our youth in CLGC. It's only for us to take hold of what He has planned and live it out. The ball is in our court now. What are we doing about it? Are we going to live life the same? Are we not going to change for the better? Are we just going to say let God change us while we just sit back and relax? Are we going to go all out and do do do do everything that we think should be done? It all comes down ...

If there was one sentence to discribe church camp this year 2005 would be, It was a great, wonderful, eventful time with God and one another. Worship It was a beautiful time of worship with no drums and minimal instruments and even no instruments at all. I believe our church is growing and coming back to rebuild our foundations and values once again. Certain things that should be kept and certain things to throw away. We can't hold on to the things that "Just wouldn't work" anymore. Word Malcom Du Plesis was a wonderful, HONEST, REAL, and full of humility and vulnerable pastor/preacher/musician or whatever. He talked about not having an offensive heart. And the phrase that got me was When someone offends me, and I take offence, is like I'm offended by God. Because all offence that will come our way have been approved by God. Another thing is that Jesus was the rock of offence. WHAT??? GoD? Offending us? YES! Not to go into that so much. But, yes Jesus had offended...

Getting hurt is part of life. Getting offended or picking up offence is so human. Choosing not to pick up an offence is easier said than done. Especially when you don't like a person, you get offended easier from what he/she says. Submitting our tongue and lips to God and our whole body to Him and living in His grace which is sufficient for us is the way to live. Then we can guard our lips and tongue (words that we speak) with His help. YES, takes a whole lot of self-control and patience and love and humility to not be offended and to say sorry sometimes when I have done wrong rather than to quarrel back and to fight my point or to justify myself. AARRGGGHHH!!! EVERYTHING INSIDE IS CRYING OUT TO ME SAYING "I SHOULD JUSTIFY MYSELF AND FIGHT BACK AND TO ARGUE MY POINT AND TO "WIN" AN ARGUEMENT OR CONVERSATION OR DISAGREEMENT!!! It's so darn hard to control the tongue. What James said is so true. James 3:7,8 - All kinds or animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of ...

WAaords of WizdoEm frOom a maaAn! Was talking to Reuben on Friday morning like around 8:30am. Chit chat... Then it came about when I share about my problems and my happiness in hearing God and the signs He's showing me. He told me saying "don't come to the point when you look for the signs so much and when the signs or when He doesn't speak, you beat yourself up or think that you're not spiritual", and another word of wisdom from him saying "Trust in God not trust in the signs and don't get too familiar with His voice and take it forgranted". Thank God for speaking to me through people. I shouldn't worry so much. God's valuable teachings to me! Joshua, you are not indespensable. I can raise up anyone to take your position as a worship leader, as a musician, as what ever I'm doing or been doing. You ARE despensable. Therefore always be humble and teachable in My eyes and in my people's eyes. Do not bring shame to My name. I...

I am suppose to fast DOTA for 2 months. Let me get straight to the point. I failed today. I when out with my friend for lunch and we when and play DOTA today! The day that I'll be seeing my friends and family in church for KLTI. THIS IS THE day that I forgot about KLTI and played DOTA all evening to night (Last weekmy mom when for camp so took opportunity and when out DOTA all night until forgot about KLTI). Exact day! This time, I remembered about KLTI. Came back home "early" to finish up my home work which I haven't touched at all. I normally like to share and be honest by typing it out. Well, if you ask me to share 1 on 1 is harder than typing out. But, to those who know me, any where, any time, I'll just try my best to be honest and sincere with everyone. I just want to be accountable and apologize to Eddy and Kenneth for actually "breaking the rule" of our fast. I'm sorry. I will continue to fast. My self-control died some where near college. Ye...

Never before I felt this way. I thought I could just push it aside and close my ears and heart when God talks about that. As His voice starts to fade, I became more and more fearful. I thought it would be so nice to have no one nagging at me when I play. The fact is, I was extremely wrong. Bro when to Pinang for work. Left me and my mom. Bored? Why not get online and play? Anything else to do? Nah, nothing really satisfies you except me. You know that. You can do your KLTI homework OR NOT. Since you played me until you forgot about KLTI. Remember??? That day? That Wednesday. Isn't very long ago. When Paulina texted you asking whether you're coming for KLTI or not. What were you doing? Aha! You know that I'm first place. You KNOW THAT! You know that Jesus has to wait while you play me. You know how hurt He must have felt. Argh! Lets put that aside and just watch some porn and masturbate or something man. Relax, no worries. You've sinned before. Tell, you what. You just c...

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It's a new beginning for me. New experience new pimples new revelations. A new beginning for me trying to be a good boy. XD Well, starting to read newspaper and write blog. Hope my Englanish Emproved. :P Praying that God will teach me to be a person of His presence. Living a life that hate sin and love God. Isn't really easy. Sinning is too easy but choosing not to sin by God's grace and knowing that He can help me find a way out of any kind of hard situations is rewarding. ^^ I feel bad every time going back to Him and ask for forgiveness but then again. Knowing that He is just there and because of Jesus I can petition to Him and my sins will be forgiven. (Although there will be consiquences of course.) Been reading the books of 1st John 2nd John and 3rd John. Is really refreshing and relates to me. Action base and straight forward. It's a good reminder and also convictor. Well, today is mid-term exam day. What am I doing here blogging when my exam is like in 12 hours ...

Friday, January 28, 2005 Currently Reading The Holy Bible Containing the Old and New Testaments: King James Version, Black Imitation Leather By Not Applicable (Na ) see related Well, my first time "playing" this blog thingi. Just thought I would like write down some stuff that I might just wana look back and say. "Awww... Look how dumb I was back then". XD Well, the theme for the day is. Never say never!!... I got that from the Timon and Pumba show I think. +_+" But well, welcome to my blog. Kekeke... P.S. Reading it coz got to do some Q&A session tmr. Hang on, it's today. Ya, for my youth church. 1st John, 2nd John and 3rd John. Aiks! Wonder how to put my picture here. :P 1:27 PM