Revelations in India, Chennai.

I am so thankful to God for so many revelations that He is willing to show me in this missions trip here in India, Chennai. It is truly His grace and mercy that He still chooses to show me a little "revelation" to help me grow in Him. To others, you might alrd know this. But for me, it makes all the difference. But if you read it and you're blessed, I'm happy for u.

One of the first revelations was "He wants the best for me". Why then I shouldn't trust Him? Why shouldn't I not trust Him for the best for me? Why then must I make decisions (then only ask Him) "so which out of my decision is a better decision?" Why then I want to make my own decision and get 2nd best of what He has plan for me? It was a comforting yet provoking revelation to me.

Another one was "He will never leave me nor forsake me". Comforts and assures me that He is there whether I'm in Malaysia or India or anywhere in the universe.

Another one was when I was reading the book by Jack Hayford "The Heart of Praise". It says in one chapter entitled "The beauty of holiness". I always wonder and question God, what are You talking about? The beauty of holiness?? Then I came to a realization that "we become who we worship", like in the bible talking about the people worshipping Idols and someone said that they will become just like the Idols. And therefore when I worship God I become more like Him, in HIS holiness, I realize how "unholy" I am, but I must realize that I must abide IN HIM, and HE IS Holy! (not looking at myself). That's the beauty of God's holiness.

Another realization is "The Pride of False Humility". False humility is a form of pride. God in His kindness open my eyes and heart to this realization that:

[I am small, but i must learn to abide in Him without looking at myself. I can't hear from Him and speak for Him if I'm looking at myself. I will always be inadequate. I will always be unworthy for what He called me to do, BUT it will never be my adequacy or worthiness that causes HIM to use me. I must not look at my inadequacy, but look to His adequacy. I must stop looking at my own unworthiness and look to His righteousness. When I am used, it is because of who HE is, NOT who I am...] (Thanks to Rick Joyner's book "The Call" the continuation of "The Final Quest". I borrowed ps Anton's book to read.

I need to continue to abide/look/fix my eyes on Him without being self-conscious or self-absorbed. (Just like how Peter when he was walking on water, looked away and starts to sink)

When I began to complain of how inadequate I am, it shows that I am not looking to God. I'm looking at myself more than Him. This is the main reason why He is able to use so few of His people for what He desire to do. Because we humans look at ourselves most of the time.
I pray that I will not fall into the trap of false humility (pride).
Yes no doubt that we ARE small and weak and unholy when we look at Him who is holy and big and strong. Realizing that is not the end to the story. But abiding in Him, fixing our eyes on Him not on who we are but to who He is will make it easier for God to use us when we realize it is nothing about us at all that we are able to serve Him in anyway or do anything at all.

This is "one" of the reasons why the church now is not like the church in Acts. Is not because the Holy Spirit then is stronger than the Holy Spirit now in our lives. It is not because of the difference in age, gender, words, or looks. But one of the reasons is because we tend to look at ourselves too much. I myself always look at myself and not abiding in who I AM is. Once we realize and really know who I AM is and obey the voice/prompting of the H.S. and not putting Him in a box and limiting Him in anyway, then I don't see why we can't be like the disciples of Jesus back in the church in Acts.

Thanks to our God Jesus Christ for revealing a little bit more to us/me. Pray that I will continue to walk in Him fixing my eyes on Him not on myself. And to learn to listen and obey the voice of the H.S. Amen.