About a Boy
A normal day at the orphanage with kids of various ages playing together in the center was how it all started. The center was my home, I was there when I was a baby left to the caretaker by my parents whom I never knew or saw. I grew up knowing that I was abandoned and thinking that my parents hated me or made a 'mistake', that brings me to where I am now.
So I thought my life was just going to end like this. Just another meaningless and mundane life. Though in festive seasons like Christmas or Easter, there will normally be a bunch of people from churches that come to visit us, giving us gifts and doing lots of fun stuff together. I enjoyed those times very much. But those are but temporary recreation that will not last a day or two. Occasionally, there will be some couples who will come by the center looking for a child they can adopt as their own. So we all will line up in two rows and give our biggest smiles and try to look good so that they will take notice of us.
There were 39 couple that came throughout the time I was there in that center from day 1 until now. No one wanted me. I am ugly, useless and stupid. At least that's what my 'friends' tell me. Dreams and hopes were not part of my vocabulary. Destiny, faith, happiness are just but an island far far away from where I am. Hurt, pain, disgrace, unwanted, sadness, are words I understood. I believe what they said was true as I'm still here in the center where else a good number of my friends were adopted by those couples that came already.
It was a Sunday morning in December. Christmas day is just 3 days away and all the children were going wild playing and jumping around from bed to bed in the dormitory. I was fill with grief that day just trying to paint a picture of my mom and dad I never knew, in my mind. "Why was I abandoned?" I thought to myself. A moment later, the door of the dormitory quietly opened and a tall middle-aged man walked in. My heart was still filled with grief and anguish as I looked at this man who walked in quietly. He was observing the kids playing with one another and he smiles to himself, as if he knew each and everyone of them here.
After 15 minutes of just observing everyone in the dormitory, our caretaker called us to line up in two rows, two-by-two. My heart was excited for a moment but the thought about my pass experience with the 39 couple who came and left without me, just overwhelmed my entire being. I was quite puzzled as I notice this man came alone. I thought he would come with his wife or at least another friend that would come with him to see if the child he picked is a 'good one'. I saw him talking to our caretaker as we were forming the line but I couldn't hear what he was saying as the kids were all excited, pushing one another to be the first in line. So there I was standing some where in the middle of the line, waiting for this man to get over with it quickly!
"Josh, Joshua? Is that your name?" I was caught off guard and in hesitation I answered, "yes". The caretaker then motioned to me to come closer. My feelings of excitement and sorrow was mixed in a blender at that moment. As I came closer to him, I noticed he was smiling at me. Ready to be disappointed again, at the back of my head, I mustered all the confidence I had in myself to greet him. He then looked at me with eyes that seem to understand all that I've been through, and turned towards the caretaker and said, "I'm taking Joshua."
Dad totally gave me a "make-over" they called it. He restore proper understanding of who I am now from who I was before. Not the ugly, useless, stupid boy I thought I was, but a handsome, talented, brilliant man I am now in him. He gave me destiny and purpose to live. Faith and trust were beginning to develope as I spend time hanging-out with dad and family. He reminded me from time to time that he chose and set me aside for himself as he has a plan for my life.
The first month was awkward. I never called someone 'dad' before in my life. Now living in a big mansion, with many servants, and countless brothers and sisters, dad still had time for everyone. He lavished his love on us everyday. It took me a very long time to understand what it means to be adopted, even after I was adopted. Dad gave me an identity as I now carry his name. My brothers and sisters loved and accepted me as one of theirs. The community around acknowledges me as Mr.xxx son. Now and then I still feel ackward knowing I am adopted. Feels like I'm not truly one of my dad's own flesh and blood. But the more I spend time with dad and family, I realize that it doesn't matter. I am loved, unconditionally.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is not a story about my life. [Although the boy's name is Joshua]. I was just doing some reading and I think I just had this motion picture in my head. And then I thought I should pen it down. Or I'll just blog about it. So half way writting it on a piece of paper, I decided to switch-on my computer and type it down. It's a random story. It spoke to me in some ways. I look at it in a Christian point of view. Pretty interesting what can be derived from this story. It is FICTION!!-(In case anyone takes it too seriously) Forgive my grammatical or whatever English errors I made. It's super late... ahh... 5:15am zzZZzZzzZz
So I thought my life was just going to end like this. Just another meaningless and mundane life. Though in festive seasons like Christmas or Easter, there will normally be a bunch of people from churches that come to visit us, giving us gifts and doing lots of fun stuff together. I enjoyed those times very much. But those are but temporary recreation that will not last a day or two. Occasionally, there will be some couples who will come by the center looking for a child they can adopt as their own. So we all will line up in two rows and give our biggest smiles and try to look good so that they will take notice of us.
There were 39 couple that came throughout the time I was there in that center from day 1 until now. No one wanted me. I am ugly, useless and stupid. At least that's what my 'friends' tell me. Dreams and hopes were not part of my vocabulary. Destiny, faith, happiness are just but an island far far away from where I am. Hurt, pain, disgrace, unwanted, sadness, are words I understood. I believe what they said was true as I'm still here in the center where else a good number of my friends were adopted by those couples that came already.
It was a Sunday morning in December. Christmas day is just 3 days away and all the children were going wild playing and jumping around from bed to bed in the dormitory. I was fill with grief that day just trying to paint a picture of my mom and dad I never knew, in my mind. "Why was I abandoned?" I thought to myself. A moment later, the door of the dormitory quietly opened and a tall middle-aged man walked in. My heart was still filled with grief and anguish as I looked at this man who walked in quietly. He was observing the kids playing with one another and he smiles to himself, as if he knew each and everyone of them here.
After 15 minutes of just observing everyone in the dormitory, our caretaker called us to line up in two rows, two-by-two. My heart was excited for a moment but the thought about my pass experience with the 39 couple who came and left without me, just overwhelmed my entire being. I was quite puzzled as I notice this man came alone. I thought he would come with his wife or at least another friend that would come with him to see if the child he picked is a 'good one'. I saw him talking to our caretaker as we were forming the line but I couldn't hear what he was saying as the kids were all excited, pushing one another to be the first in line. So there I was standing some where in the middle of the line, waiting for this man to get over with it quickly!
"Josh, Joshua? Is that your name?" I was caught off guard and in hesitation I answered, "yes". The caretaker then motioned to me to come closer. My feelings of excitement and sorrow was mixed in a blender at that moment. As I came closer to him, I noticed he was smiling at me. Ready to be disappointed again, at the back of my head, I mustered all the confidence I had in myself to greet him. He then looked at me with eyes that seem to understand all that I've been through, and turned towards the caretaker and said, "I'm taking Joshua."
Dad totally gave me a "make-over" they called it. He restore proper understanding of who I am now from who I was before. Not the ugly, useless, stupid boy I thought I was, but a handsome, talented, brilliant man I am now in him. He gave me destiny and purpose to live. Faith and trust were beginning to develope as I spend time hanging-out with dad and family. He reminded me from time to time that he chose and set me aside for himself as he has a plan for my life.
The first month was awkward. I never called someone 'dad' before in my life. Now living in a big mansion, with many servants, and countless brothers and sisters, dad still had time for everyone. He lavished his love on us everyday. It took me a very long time to understand what it means to be adopted, even after I was adopted. Dad gave me an identity as I now carry his name. My brothers and sisters loved and accepted me as one of theirs. The community around acknowledges me as Mr.xxx son. Now and then I still feel ackward knowing I am adopted. Feels like I'm not truly one of my dad's own flesh and blood. But the more I spend time with dad and family, I realize that it doesn't matter. I am loved, unconditionally.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is not a story about my life. [Although the boy's name is Joshua]. I was just doing some reading and I think I just had this motion picture in my head. And then I thought I should pen it down. Or I'll just blog about it. So half way writting it on a piece of paper, I decided to switch-on my computer and type it down. It's a random story. It spoke to me in some ways. I look at it in a Christian point of view. Pretty interesting what can be derived from this story. It is FICTION!!-(In case anyone takes it too seriously) Forgive my grammatical or whatever English errors I made. It's super late... ahh... 5:15am zzZZzZzzZz
Comments