New Year New Life New Ways
It's a new year and a new start to life. Just a couple of things I've learned and am still learning.
A Matter of Trust
Firstly I just came back from Cambodia. It was a great 6 weeks there with the kidz, with Steve and with Reuben. I believe God 'took the opportunity' to mould me while I was there =P . I had loads of fun while I was in Cambodia. Teaching the kids guitar and just being able to share life for a short period of time with them is refreshing. When I was there in Kratie, the highlight was really the simplicity of life. If there's one word I can sum up my trip to Cambodia it will be "priceless". And if there's one general theme to what God's been teaching me throughout the trip is [Trust in Him]. Trust is one of the foundation to any growing and healthy relationship. It is a vulnerable foundation coz once it is broken, it's really hard to build it back again.
Trusting God is always easier said than done. When you don't see the logical reason and when you don't see the benefit of it, you'll probably question whether or not God really have His best interest in mind for you or not. He was patient and merciful to dealing with the 'idols' in my heart, one by one, He has to be the Lord and Master of me. I realize one of the reason for me to have idols is because I have a lack of trust in Him:
1. I don't trust that He can satisfy me more than Dota.
2. I don't trust that He can provide for me if I don't take that Yamaha job.
3. I don't trust that He loves me enough to want the best life-partner for me [when I thought that 'This is it! She's the one. She's perfect!'] and when God disallows it to happen.
I don't trust that He loves me enough to want the BEST for me in my life. Because if I did trust in Him, and believe that He wants the best for me, it wouldn't been so difficult to let these things go. These are quite fresh of what I've been going through. And continually I have to remember to surrender the things I hold dearly to Him.
Meaningless
But actually, if it's not God or His word, everything else is pretty meaningless. Most of the times I see that non-Christians are rich and contented with their lives and living happily ever after. And I see the fate of the believer the same as an unbeliever - they both die one day - except maybe they enjoy 'sinning' in the world without getting punish in this world. But I also realized that better a poor but righteous man than a rich but wicked person. And why covet/strongly desire someone else's things, riches, fame which will only last this life time? Aren't we looking at eternity?
For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from the burdens common to man. This is what the wicked are like - always carefree, they increase in wealth. Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
I find myself and many other believers easily captivated and encumbered by the covetousness of our hearts towards 'meaningless' things in life. Material possessions, monetary possessions, fame/glory, power, relationships etc, things that can/may/most of the time hold us back from stepping on full throttle towards things that matter most for eternity.
The definition of covetousness is [From Dictionary.com]:
Covet
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper
And envy is very closely knitted with covetousness.
On the other hand, I'm also learning to not take myself too seriously. Knowing that I'm not perfect and I should not expect people to deliver or live up to my expectations in life. Besides, many things I am passionate about is quite meaningless besides God and His church.
Approaching God with an Idolatrous/Covetous Heart
Approaching God with strong desires of our own that are not in line with His will, when He has made it known to us, can prove to be the most unwise and dangerous thing to do. For this can lead us to deceiving ourselves when God actually 'gives' or allow us to have what we want or pray for. Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth; fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desires, and covetousness which is idolatry. We are often enticed by what we desire/want - the very thing that tempts us. Some times, we pray so hard (with a strong desire) for God to give us this position, person, thing, but we also wanna show that God's opinion matters to us so we end with the "in the end, let Your will be done, Lord". Some times also, God will allow our covetous/selfish prayers to come true to teach us a valuable lesson. ie Prodigal son, Balaam's story, and Israel's grumbling for meat. Balaam ended up killed by the Israelites, the best men of Israel dies before they can chew the quail because of their grumbling and the prodigal son came back with a lesson well learned.
Most of the time, when we're into something or someone, it's very hard to think objectively. All we want is that, and our prayers are more like a hopeful prayer coming to God with a mind set on it already rather than coming to inquire of His opinion and will.
Who Am I?
Many people strive to find their personality. The question "Who Am I?" is constantly embedded in people's mind. I know I do, and I struggle with finding who I am in the world that tells us who we should be like. The more I try and 'fit in', the more I find myself pushing people away. The question one should ask is, "who am I, in God?" How does God view me? What does He say about me? A couple of times I notice people using the 'this is who I am' phrase often ending up lowering themselves of who they really are in God. Is that really who we are in Christ Jesus?
My personal examples would be finding my identity in the things I do. I love basket ball when I was in secondary school, and I strive to become the best player in my secondary school before I leave school. I joined the Petaling Basket Ball Associations at the age of 14 and I can proudly say that I am the best player in my school when I was form 5. What was a miss there is that I try and find my identity in playing basket ball and while at it, developed alot of pride along the way and a result oriented behaviour. I tried to be the best so that people will recognize that I am the best player in La Salle. But what is that achievement to God? My friends may looks at me and they may see that I'm good but all this is just temporary. So what if I'm the best in Malaysia? If I don't know who I really am in Christ, it all amounts to nothing! What would last?? What would make a difference for the better in my life? Finding who I really am in God and living it out the way God sees me, not the way others see me for who they think I am or should be. Instead of finding my identity in what I do, I should find my identity in Christ. Instead of giving excuse saying "this is who I am, what!" but to maybe reflect again and to ask is this really who I am in Christ?
Why Should God Take Credit For What I've Done!?!?
One guy came and ask me. Why should I acknowledge God when I get straight A's for my exams? Why should I thank Him and give Him the credit for it when in actual fact, I studied like hell to make sure I get that results? Why should I thank Him for the money I make? I made it, with my hard work and effort by working long hours and writing a killer resume to get the job.
But, I noticed is said that God is the one who enabled us to generate wealth, and therefore God is the One who gave us a mind that we can think and remember what we've studied. Hence He gave us hands and feet to work and earn money. I think it's a good enough reason to acknowledge God in 'our' achievements. This came about as I was pondering upon answering that question my friend brought to me. Another thing I realize is, everything good comes from the Lord, so does otherwise - Job 2:10, Ecclesiastes 7:14.
Jehovah Jireh
Oh well, I'm happy to be back again. Nothing like the amazing variety of food here in Malaysia.
And I came back an owner of an old Citroen ZX generously given by Chan Wai. It's amazing and memorable, I think it'll be really hard to forget the moment when Raj passed to me the car keys of the Citroen ZX followed by Desmond handing to me the parking ticket for the basement car park of Komplex Kemajuan [potong steam]. It is an incredible story to me of how God provided the car and the cash for the servicing of the car and many more stories of how God was real as "Jehovah Jireh" [God our provider] to me. It was a moment of joy and responsibility, knowing that I have to care for it from now onwards.
Blessings Follows Obedience
But I noticed, most of the time in my life, blessings come after obedience. After learning to surrender those 'idols' - things that I desire strongly - then unexpectedly, God blessed me with what I needed at the perfect timing - His timing. This song spoke to me when I was struggling not knowing why things don't go the way I want it to go, struggling to obey:
Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end"
He's Sovereign and He's good! The thought of knowing that God has my life in his hands and He loves and wants the best for me in His time, makes it easier to go through life everyday, and to except a 'no' as an answer from Him coz you're certain that He wants the best for you.
God's Friendster Account
And on the other hand, if God would to have a friendster account, I bet his testimonials will be full of wonderful comments/testimonials of people being grateful to Him/thanking Him every second. Just to acknowledgement Him, these are a few examples I want to share now. If I would to share all, blogger won't have enough space for me to blog about it. Well, briefly... My trip to India last year, or was it 2 years back, He provided for me way more than I expected with an extra RM500 that ended up in my mom's hand coz I felt nice that day to give it to her... *sigh*. And for this trip to Cambodia which he also provided for me financially, thanks also to those who gave willingly! And for the car I received just 9 days ago. Isn't He lovely....
A Matter of Trust
Firstly I just came back from Cambodia. It was a great 6 weeks there with the kidz, with Steve and with Reuben. I believe God 'took the opportunity' to mould me while I was there =P . I had loads of fun while I was in Cambodia. Teaching the kids guitar and just being able to share life for a short period of time with them is refreshing. When I was there in Kratie, the highlight was really the simplicity of life. If there's one word I can sum up my trip to Cambodia it will be "priceless". And if there's one general theme to what God's been teaching me throughout the trip is [Trust in Him]. Trust is one of the foundation to any growing and healthy relationship. It is a vulnerable foundation coz once it is broken, it's really hard to build it back again.
Trusting God is always easier said than done. When you don't see the logical reason and when you don't see the benefit of it, you'll probably question whether or not God really have His best interest in mind for you or not. He was patient and merciful to dealing with the 'idols' in my heart, one by one, He has to be the Lord and Master of me. I realize one of the reason for me to have idols is because I have a lack of trust in Him:
1. I don't trust that He can satisfy me more than Dota.
2. I don't trust that He can provide for me if I don't take that Yamaha job.
3. I don't trust that He loves me enough to want the best life-partner for me [when I thought that 'This is it! She's the one. She's perfect!'] and when God disallows it to happen.
I don't trust that He loves me enough to want the BEST for me in my life. Because if I did trust in Him, and believe that He wants the best for me, it wouldn't been so difficult to let these things go. These are quite fresh of what I've been going through. And continually I have to remember to surrender the things I hold dearly to Him.
Meaningless
But actually, if it's not God or His word, everything else is pretty meaningless. Most of the times I see that non-Christians are rich and contented with their lives and living happily ever after. And I see the fate of the believer the same as an unbeliever - they both die one day - except maybe they enjoy 'sinning' in the world without getting punish in this world. But I also realized that better a poor but righteous man than a rich but wicked person. And why covet/strongly desire someone else's things, riches, fame which will only last this life time? Aren't we looking at eternity?
For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from the burdens common to man. This is what the wicked are like - always carefree, they increase in wealth. Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.
I find myself and many other believers easily captivated and encumbered by the covetousness of our hearts towards 'meaningless' things in life. Material possessions, monetary possessions, fame/glory, power, relationships etc, things that can/may/most of the time hold us back from stepping on full throttle towards things that matter most for eternity.
The definition of covetousness is [From Dictionary.com]:
| 1. | inordinately or wrongly desirous of wealth or possessions; greedy. |
| 2. | eagerly desirous. |
c.1225, from O.Fr. coveitier, probably ult. from L. cupiditas "passionate desire," from cupidus "very desirous," from cupere "long for, desire."
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper
And envy is very closely knitted with covetousness.
On the other hand, I'm also learning to not take myself too seriously. Knowing that I'm not perfect and I should not expect people to deliver or live up to my expectations in life. Besides, many things I am passionate about is quite meaningless besides God and His church.
Approaching God with an Idolatrous/Covetous Heart
Approaching God with strong desires of our own that are not in line with His will, when He has made it known to us, can prove to be the most unwise and dangerous thing to do. For this can lead us to deceiving ourselves when God actually 'gives' or allow us to have what we want or pray for. Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth; fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desires, and covetousness which is idolatry. We are often enticed by what we desire/want - the very thing that tempts us. Some times, we pray so hard (with a strong desire) for God to give us this position, person, thing, but we also wanna show that God's opinion matters to us so we end with the "in the end, let Your will be done, Lord". Some times also, God will allow our covetous/selfish prayers to come true to teach us a valuable lesson. ie Prodigal son, Balaam's story, and Israel's grumbling for meat. Balaam ended up killed by the Israelites, the best men of Israel dies before they can chew the quail because of their grumbling and the prodigal son came back with a lesson well learned.
Most of the time, when we're into something or someone, it's very hard to think objectively. All we want is that, and our prayers are more like a hopeful prayer coming to God with a mind set on it already rather than coming to inquire of His opinion and will.
Who Am I?
Many people strive to find their personality. The question "Who Am I?" is constantly embedded in people's mind. I know I do, and I struggle with finding who I am in the world that tells us who we should be like. The more I try and 'fit in', the more I find myself pushing people away. The question one should ask is, "who am I, in God?" How does God view me? What does He say about me? A couple of times I notice people using the 'this is who I am' phrase often ending up lowering themselves of who they really are in God. Is that really who we are in Christ Jesus?
My personal examples would be finding my identity in the things I do. I love basket ball when I was in secondary school, and I strive to become the best player in my secondary school before I leave school. I joined the Petaling Basket Ball Associations at the age of 14 and I can proudly say that I am the best player in my school when I was form 5. What was a miss there is that I try and find my identity in playing basket ball and while at it, developed alot of pride along the way and a result oriented behaviour. I tried to be the best so that people will recognize that I am the best player in La Salle. But what is that achievement to God? My friends may looks at me and they may see that I'm good but all this is just temporary. So what if I'm the best in Malaysia? If I don't know who I really am in Christ, it all amounts to nothing! What would last?? What would make a difference for the better in my life? Finding who I really am in God and living it out the way God sees me, not the way others see me for who they think I am or should be. Instead of finding my identity in what I do, I should find my identity in Christ. Instead of giving excuse saying "this is who I am, what!" but to maybe reflect again and to ask is this really who I am in Christ?
Why Should God Take Credit For What I've Done!?!?
One guy came and ask me. Why should I acknowledge God when I get straight A's for my exams? Why should I thank Him and give Him the credit for it when in actual fact, I studied like hell to make sure I get that results? Why should I thank Him for the money I make? I made it, with my hard work and effort by working long hours and writing a killer resume to get the job.
But, I noticed is said that God is the one who enabled us to generate wealth, and therefore God is the One who gave us a mind that we can think and remember what we've studied. Hence He gave us hands and feet to work and earn money. I think it's a good enough reason to acknowledge God in 'our' achievements. This came about as I was pondering upon answering that question my friend brought to me. Another thing I realize is, everything good comes from the Lord, so does otherwise - Job 2:10, Ecclesiastes 7:14.
Jehovah Jireh
Oh well, I'm happy to be back again. Nothing like the amazing variety of food here in Malaysia.
And I came back an owner of an old Citroen ZX generously given by Chan Wai. It's amazing and memorable, I think it'll be really hard to forget the moment when Raj passed to me the car keys of the Citroen ZX followed by Desmond handing to me the parking ticket for the basement car park of Komplex Kemajuan [potong steam]. It is an incredible story to me of how God provided the car and the cash for the servicing of the car and many more stories of how God was real as "Jehovah Jireh" [God our provider] to me. It was a moment of joy and responsibility, knowing that I have to care for it from now onwards.
Blessings Follows Obedience
But I noticed, most of the time in my life, blessings come after obedience. After learning to surrender those 'idols' - things that I desire strongly - then unexpectedly, God blessed me with what I needed at the perfect timing - His timing. This song spoke to me when I was struggling not knowing why things don't go the way I want it to go, struggling to obey:
Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end"
In His time, in His time,
He makes all thing beautiful in His time.
Lord, please show me everyday, as You're teaching me Your way, that You do just what you say, In your time.
In Your time, in Your time,
You make all thing beautiful in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.
He's Sovereign and He's good! The thought of knowing that God has my life in his hands and He loves and wants the best for me in His time, makes it easier to go through life everyday, and to except a 'no' as an answer from Him coz you're certain that He wants the best for you.
God's Friendster Account
And on the other hand, if God would to have a friendster account, I bet his testimonials will be full of wonderful comments/testimonials of people being grateful to Him/thanking Him every second. Just to acknowledgement Him, these are a few examples I want to share now. If I would to share all, blogger won't have enough space for me to blog about it. Well, briefly... My trip to India last year, or was it 2 years back, He provided for me way more than I expected with an extra RM500 that ended up in my mom's hand coz I felt nice that day to give it to her... *sigh*. And for this trip to Cambodia which he also provided for me financially, thanks also to those who gave willingly! And for the car I received just 9 days ago. Isn't He lovely....
Comments
Indeed, He is sovereign :)
I thought you never read blogs already. haha... What's your blog address??? Tell me now! plsszzz xD
btw, thanks... ;)
i'll give you when i see you ok..but you have to wait for another 12 days until i come back
or if you're DYING to read mine, email me! muahahahha..... :P
THis is truly inspiring. I had a devotional on Psalm 73, and I identify with what you wrote that our most coveted, most treasured possession is Him, His presence.
For without, everything is meaningless.
Life is so difficult tho! Hope you have a great journey..
=P
But though times may be tough, I learn to enjoy the journey. Coz that's what it is about, journeying with God.
I'm blessed. Thanks.